Good Morning! I just wanted to ask for some advice. I have a 3 year old daughter who wants 100% of my attention all the time! We live far away from family and friends (with kids she knows), and so I sometimes feel guilty with not giving her 100% of my time. I understand and have been working on trying to not do this, which according to my husband, has been successful. Has anyone been in my situation before? What did you do and how did you not feel guilty? I also have a 2 1/2 month old, and she requires my attention, too, so I hope you can understand that it is a little difficult for me. We are putting her in gymnastics 1 day a week to meet other kids. I refuse preschool because my theory is children are young once and once she starts kindergarten she’ll be in school for at least 20 years.

don’t laugh at this earth shattering question but....  Do they make chair leg pads that stay on??  I’m talking about the little adhesive pads that you put on the bottom of your chair legs so that you can actually slide the chair across your wood floor with ease.  We seem to buy ones at the store, adhere and then proceed over the next couple days, weeks to pick them up off the floor and throw them away and then eventually break down and buy new ones.  anyone??

Mary W, First of all, what a wonderful family you have...my thought is that perhaps the reason your 3 yr old is being so demanding of your time is jealousy over the new baby?  We had almost 6-1/2 yrs between our first 2 sons and even at that older age, my oldest started “acting out” & needing more attention which even his kindergarten teacher noticed & talked to me about.  My 2 middle guys didn’t really have that but I think it’s b/c my 2nd son was only 18 mo old when #3 came along, but it’s worth thinking about, I think.

Also, I have found w/my 2 yr old (girl), I cleaned out an entire 2 door cabinet that was meant for “the boys” and have set it up for her w/all her toys, in containers that she can open so she has “her” stuff available at all times.  Her books are in a basket instead of on shelves, and since she can reach & get at her things by herself, she has become more independent (much needed when I am trying to school the older ones) and not so attached to my hip.

Not sure if any of this will help but hang in there...it’s most likely just a phase & will pass in time...and then you’ll miss her neediness (trust me, been there, done that ~ lol).  God bless!!!

My otherwise reasonable, soon to be 18yo ds, has told me that he will probably vote for the pro choice candidate (not because he is pro choice but because other things are more important-he says).  I’m deeply disappointed and hope I have some time to open his heart and mind.  Every vote counts.  Sadly, my opinion doesn’t count for much anymore with him but he might be open to info from outside sources.  Suggestions?  This young man has always been a bit lukewarm about the faith and I prefer not to get into what he considers already a ‘church of rules and no’s’, by talking about it being a sin to vote for him-at least not at first.  Our home life has never been wishy washy in the area of faith or morality-especially in taking a pro life stance.  It’s so hard to see this happen....

You can find chair pads at Home Depot that have nails in them to pound into the bottom of your chairs. 

Please say a prayer for me...I am off to have a c-section in 1 hour.  This will be baby # 5 and my 3rd c-section.  God is good.

Anon with the almost 18 YO son,
I understand your concern but there comes a time where we have to step back and know that we have raised our children the best that we could and pray for them to make the right decisions.This sounds like that time for you. I worked the polls for years and have seen quite a few parents in your shoes but the law says that once your son is eighteen he has the right to privately vote as he sees fit.That being said,I know I will meet with opposition here but must lovingly say, in my opinion , there is nothing wrong with looking at all of the issues. I would never cast my vote based on one single issue even with only one candidate CLAIMING to be pro life. The way I look at it is, If a candidate sends all of our jobs over seas , we all loose our houses to foreclosure, None of us can afford to feed the children we have, and people are desperate, will not more people take desperate measures ? Is abortion, for many, not a desperate act ?  I honestly don’t have all of the answers nor do I claim to but this is just something to think about.

Good morning all. I hope that everyone is enjoying a wonderful day after Labor day. I have a rather off of the wall question this morning. Has anyone ever heard of a anxiety condition where when a person has an adrenaline rush ( on a roller coaster, or in other situations that should be pleasurable )that the rush itself causes panic ? A friend told me that she is this way and that it is brought on by enduring several traumatic experiences . Now her body interprets all adrenaline rushes in a derogatory manor .I was a psychology major in college and have never heard of such a thing but it sounds logical to me. Any input ?

Mary W- I’ve been in your shoes and in my opion the more you try to have a child play independantly the more they want attention. Try to include her in every activity from cleaning to cooking. Let her help change diapers and read to her as you feed the baby. I think with all this attention she will want to go and play by herself sometimes and it will be her idea. Worked well for me. Good luck.

Theresia-I know exactly what you are talking about. I got fed up with the chair leg pads that wouldn’t stay on and right now my chair legs are wearing baby socks atached with rubber bands quite the conversation piece. I too open to advice from all on this irksome problem.

anon- I also have an 18 year old who plans to vote for the pro choice candidate. I have tried to talk with my daughter about this and pray she will be swayed. I will keep you in my prayers as we both struggle with this.

Theresia--I’ve found that the stick-on chair pads found at IKEA stay stuck on longer than the ones they sell at Home Depot and Lowes--I only have to replace them every year or so, instead of every few months.  For chairs in ‘non-public’ rooms you might try the tennis ball method favored by art teachers around here.  (Cut an x in a tennis ball and stick it on the chair foot)

Someone tell me why sex education in the schools is wrong, especially for the kids who get educated in the streets when the parents fail to discuss this issue with them.  Ideally, parents should do this but many shy away from it.  What are the kids in this situation supposed to do?
As you see from Sarah Palin’s situation, abstinence only, in spite of all the good will, doesn’t work very much.  What are your thoughts?  And can a mother of 5 children and a grandchild on the way raise this family while being a VP?  It was my impression that being in full-time government service, as governor or VP or mayor, is an absorbing time consuming job, What happens if she becomes the President if anything happens to McCain?  Is this a valid concern or not?

I personally am getting very tired very quickly of the assumption that Sarah Palin’s daughter’s pregnancy has ANYTHING to do with abstinence only education!

If we as Catholics believe that abortion and contraception is wrong, then why would we assume that kids need something more than abstinence only education?  Basically, kids have two options: Try their hardest to abstain until marriage or go ahead and do whatever they ‘feel’ like doing.

No one ever said that abstinence was easy...but contraception isn’t “easy” either...there are failures, there are hurts emotionally, there are physical side effects, there are unplanned pregnancies.

Also, I guess I don’t understand why Sarah Palin becoming a grandmother would be a concern for voters...her daughter is going to get married, grow up quickly and raise her own child.  My mother-in-law was 17 when she had my husband, she married before she had the baby, and they are still married 31 years later.  Children are not a death sentence...they can be a great blessing.  My in-laws have had 5 children, 1 died of cancer at age 3 (after world class medical care), the other 4 all went to college...the youngest will graduate and marry this year.  They have had more than enough trials throughout their marriage, and keep on going...I hope that Sarah Palin’s daughter and her future husband end up like my in-laws.

I want to ditto the suggestion to find chair pads that have some kind of tack or nail in them, to nail to the bottom of the chair. We replaced hundreds of the sticky ones (including the Ikea brand) before we finally ordered some great nail-in ones online and they have lasted over 6 months now without a single problem.

I don’t want to argue about politics. I don’t want to read about politics. I want some real mom-to-mom Catholic support and “coffee” today!

Prayers for children starting school today, and starting homeschool today!

And many prayers for those who suffer the cross of infertility. There are a few of you who are never far from my heart, for whom I offer my daily suffering and hard work up to the Lord on your behalf, and beg Mary to intercede and the Lord let you know the joys and heartache of motherhood.

To Sister Judith Dever:
Sex education in schools promote fornication. It treats students as though they aren’t strong enough to just say “no”, so therefore it teaches them how to use safe sex practices. I honestly don’t see how teens can possibly not knows about safe sex practices, even when it is not taught in the schools. Just from watching tv or talking to friends you learn about barrier methods and the pill. So why, oh why, should schools take it upon themselves to teach kids how to safely have sex? Besides, these programs are also gross. When I was ten years old (16 years ago!) our fifth grade class had a night where mothers and daughters could go to a class together one evening. My mom thought it would be nice and would teach about hygeine, cycles, etc. It started out night, but the teacher also showed a book that we could check out that had cartoon pictures of couples on top of each other, in a shower together, etc. Then they passed out little booklets to take home of questions for mother and daughter. At first I asked my mother innocent questions like “How old were you when you had your first boyfriend?” As the book went on the questions were “Did you ever touch yourself as a teen?”, “How old were you when you first had sex?” We stopped reading these and threw them away. WHY would these things be preached to a 10 year old?!!! I’m afraid to even think about what they teach in schools sixteen years after that! Scary!! If you expect a teen to have no will power and just have sex then they will. Expect more from teens.

First, to Sister Judith, according to Planned Parenthoods own research institute (the Guttmacher Institute) 6 in 10 women who get abortions reported failure of contraception as the reason for their abortion.  Not failure to contracept, but failure of the contraception they used.  In light of this, how can anyone say that lack of access to contraception or failure to use contraception is the problem?  The only reliable way to not get pregnant is to not have sex.

I am the product of teen sex.  God has a purpose for every baby conceived.  No, my parents did not do things “right”.  No, unfortunately they were not mature enough to sustain their marriage to each other.  No, my upbringing was not picture perfect...(in fact, at times it was downright horrible) but I am so glad to be here to do things differently for the next generation. 

I am even more convinced of my vote for McCain/Palin because this is a woman WHO LIVES WHAT SHE STANDS FOR.  Families are not perfect.  Teenagers make mistakes.  It takes a strong family behind you to make the tough decisions and to turn a “mistake” into a blessing (which is was ANY pregnancy really boils down to, isn’t it?)

Concerning the 18 year old who is voting for a pro-choice candidate

The pro-choice candidate seems to have a huge appeal to young people.  I don’t understand, perhaps, because I don’t watch TV.  I’m not sure what the young man’s reasons are, but maybe you can take comfort in the following paragraph written by the Holy Father before he became Pope:

[N.B. A Catholic would be guilty of formal cooperation in evil, and so unworthy to present himself for Holy Communion, if he were to deliberately vote for a candidate precisely because of the candidate’s permissive stand on abortion and/or euthanasia. When a Catholic does not share a candidate’s stand in favour of abortion and/or euthanasia, but votes for that candidate for other reasons, it is considered remote material cooperation, which can be permitted in the presence of proportionate reasons.]
http://www.priestsforlife.org/magisterium/bishops/04-07ratzingerommunion.htm

One of the biggest faults with the sex ed curriculum taught in schools is that it leads to a false sense of security...If you use a condom, you are “safe.” But what they fail to teach kids is that the MOST effective a condom is at preventing STDs is with HIV at about 85 percent. (pregnancy as well is about this rate.) and it gets worse with other STDs. Protection against chlamydia and gonorrhea are less than 25%. Syphyllis is near zero. It’s completely irresponsible of the schools to teach kids that condoms equate to safe sex. Of 100 people having sex with an HIV infected individual while using a condom, 15 will get the infection. Is this really a rate we consider safe? But while kids are taught how to put one on a banana, they are not given this other, very important information that could have drastic implications on whether they choose to engage in premarital sex or choose to wait. Moral questions aside, it’s a matter of the health of our youth and young adults. Furthermore, if we expect Just Say No campaigns to work for drugs, even though some kids choose to do drugs anyway, why can’t we expect to teach kids just say no to premarital sex? Of course, some kids will do it anyway. But when you give kids misleading information about the safety of such acts, it’s irresponsible at best.

Anon Voter,

I don’t know if it is right to call a pro-life voter a “single issue” voter.  It’s just that we have a set of priorities when we go down a check list of issues.  There are certain issues like abortion that absolutely disqualify a candidate from the get-go.  A candidate that supports the whole scale murder of infants obviously cannot be supported, and does it not say something about the candidate?

HI everyone,
This is im first post. I am a mother of 5 but am having trouble potty training my youngest. She is 3yrs old and starts nursery school next week. She knows how to go potty and can do it herself. It’s just the remembering to go before she wets her pullup. I didn’t use them with my others but she made such a mess last time I used underwear that I went back to using them. Does anyone have any advice? Something that worksed for you? I am getting desperate! THANKS!

Sister Judith Dever:

I wonder about your questions, as it seems that you put forward two conflicting messages.  What you’re insinuating is on one hand, Mrs. Palin is not hip enough to hand her daughter a condom and on the other, she’s not a traditional enough, full-time SAHM.  Right.

Sex education in school is wrong because it is MY responsibility. No, actually, it is my honor.  It’s a way of sharing a deeply important - too important to leave to some one else - moral teaching that reflects the wisdom of the church that should be done with utmost respect for the natural modesty that all pre-teens have. 

I do not want my children having discussions about such private matters in public, in an adult-sanctioned forum like a classroom.  And, lest you forget, that’s MY right as a parent.  Whenever schools go beyond the original mission of educating children in academics, then there is a problem.  Leave the social engineering to me for my own kids.

Why has teenage pregnancy skyrocketed from, say, 60 years ago?  Because we can’t shut up about it.  Because we speak as if the kids are animals and don’t know how to control themselves.  Because - and this is the big one, folks! - contraception doesn’t work.  Which is why the world demands abortion.

On a different note, do any of you ladies have any suggestions for how to deal with a difficult child? We’re struggling with this. Our son (10 yo) struggles with depression and anxiety as well as hyper-reactivity. It can be very, very difficult when he has huge blow ups (about very little things) and we often feel helpless as to how to help him, how to deal with repercussions of his behavior, and how to survive it ourselves. He takes medication (which is essential to him having a chance to control his behavior) and we see his psychiatrist periodically. But it is exhausting and emotionally draining. But it stretches our capacity as parents when he says horrendous things and breaks things—even though he is truly sorry afterward. It is a hard balance to recognize his difficulties without condoning the behavior. This is where my dh and I too often are in conflict—he has a harder time letting things go and I end up in the middle. If I try to discuss how to do better next time, dh feels that I’m blaming him. I’m not—but I don’t think he sees that his frustration fuels the situation sometimes. I’m far from perfect myself and have made things worse in my own frustration. But I’m struggling to find a way to work together on this.
Sorry to ramble on so long. If nothing else, we could use your prayers. We’re also trying to find ways to keep our dd from picking up bad habits since she does not have these same struggles. But we can’t let her think this behavior is permitted.

A couple of things -

1) To the mom a few weeks ago who wrote about a young toddler with few teeth and was eating mostly fruits - I put some frozen diced BEETS in my daughter’s smoothie (along with a peach and some strawberries) and she loved it.  Hubs and I both thought it tasted like dirt but she didn’t mind.

2) To the moms struggling with decreased libido, here is something to consider.  Have your husband wake you in the middle of the night with some tender caresses.  You might find that with your brain somewhat out of the picture (asleep), your body is able to respond better.  Those of you who are co-sleeping will probably need to tiptoe somewhere else.  Those of you who are struggling with sleep deprivation may not want to give this a shot yet, but the upside is that it should take less time.

3) Something that I have just begun to consider regarding sex ed and my toddler daughter - I would like to incorporate Theology of the Body.  Of course, this means I need to study it very thoroughly myself since I didn’t get a very good background in it growing up.  I just think that it would provide much more of the “why not?” than anything I could say.

4) I am pleased to see Sarah Palin as McCain’s VP selection.  It’s gotten me much more excited about the election.  If she thinks she can do it (which she does since she accepted), I’m behind her 100%!

5) Prayers are going out for all of you who request them today, whether you are expecting - or very soon having! - a baby today, or struggling with infertility, or having family difficulties.  I pray that God blesses you in a special way as you go about your day.

I am a mother of 5. My youngest is 3 yrs ols and starts nursery school next week My problem is potty training. She knows how to do it and can do it herself. She just doesn’t remember to go when she gets busy. I know it’s a common problem but everything I’m doing isn’t working. She wear pullups because when she wore underwear she made a big mess and it didn’t bother her. I could really use some suggestions. Maybe you’ve tried something I haven’t. THANKS!

Sister Judith—The concerns you raise about Governor Palin do not concern me.  I am as enthusiastic about her as ever.

I oppose sex education in the schools and I don’t know enough about abstinence education to support it.  I do favor a very good biology course.

I have heard a child psychologist opposing sex ed explain that children’s natural response to learning about something is to try it, and that is what I have observed too.

My personal research on the issue of sex ed revealed that the push for it began at the time of the sexual revolution spurred by the release of Alfred Kinsey’s “research” on the sexuality of men, women and even children. Dr. Judith Reisman’s life work has been exposing the Kinsey Report as junk science.  I recommend Dr. Reisman’s web site and her book Kinsey: Crimes and Consequences as resources for your own questions about sex education and today’s issues about sex.

To the moms whose children intend to vote pro-choice:  I have long looked for a St. Monica novena, and since I have not found one, I recommend praying your intention, 1 Our Father, 1 Hail Mary and 1 Glory be followed by St. Monica, pray for us.  And remember that St. Augustine’s conversion took years of prayer.  Remain hopeful.  I am sure that they are very good kids.

To those moms whose children are planning on voting for Obama - we have a similiar situation in our family regarding my niece.  Her 19 year old cousin sent my niece a article from the newspaper detailing Obama’s stand on infanticide and abortion.  She attached a short note simply saying hi and here is an article I thought you might be interested in.  And then we pray!!  Hope this helps.

Re: sex ed in schools
Another problem with the PP version of sex ed is that it totally ignores the duality of sex - physical and emotional/spiritual aspects that when taken independently distorts our sexuality.  The damage to teens extends greatly beyond pregnancy and disease.  Sex ed is never “comprehensive” if it ignores this....never mind the implication that abstinence isn’t obtainable.

Sister Judith,

You asked some good questions here.  I think you got attacked by them and I am not sure your main concern was addressed.

You asked, “What do kids do in a situation where their parents do not talk to them about sex and teach them anything”

This is true many parents do not even talk with their kids about this.  (I’m sure the moms here will:)) My husband’s parents and many friend’s parents never talked about it with them.

My kids are in public school and I carefully follow what is being taught to them.  So far nothing has conflicted with our faith, but my oldest is only in 5th grade. 

I think there are good points to sex education in schools and many controversial points.  My husband and I will always be the primary educators on this.

I don’t know what to do with the kids that don’t have parents who guide and direct them in this area.  Clearly they need to learn somewhere.

As for Sarah Palin, I admire her and will vote for her anyway.  I know I could not do it myself in her circumstances.  I think sometimes in the Catholic Church it is thought that women’s only role should be to stay at home and have children. I think that God’s calls some women in different ways and roles and I think Sarah Palin is one of them.  We need women in leadeship positions like this.

Sorry to post on this two weeks in a row, but there is discussion on this general topic already so…
Please stop by http://www.ninevehjourney.org and sign up for the 50 days of prayer and sacrifice for pro-life candidates on all levels of government.  This is non-partisan and all of us can use conversion on some level.  We are hoping to get people from all 50 states signed up, so check your state out and sign on for the effort!  Thanks!

Re: the election, for those who think all issues are of equal importance, you need to go back and study Church teaching. Some issues are nonnegotiable, others can be argued (whether a war is just, whether the death penalty should be allowed).

Further, if Obama gets elected, those of you who vote for him can explain to the rest of us why it’s so wonderful that all abortion restrictions have been lifted, why PP is getting millions more of our dollars, why it’s OK that our crisis pregnancy centers are the object of a witch hunt.... And I’m not sure why on earth anyone thinks Obama can jumpstart the economy--or make health care better--or better race relations (consider his 20 years w/Rev. Wright). If he gets elected, I believe we’ll see him spending most of his time “paying back” his special interest groups and the corrupt Chicago political machine that made him.

My 2 children by adoption would not be here today if the Obamas of this world had their way. Both of my children came into this world in circumstances less than ideal--but they grew under the hearts of loving mothers who are nothing less than heros.

Life is everything. Without it, nothing else matters at all.

To Anon regarding your son’s voting decision.  I have a 16 yo daughter, who, while she can’t vote, has expressed a real passion for the Obama ticket.  At first I was a little freaked out, then I realized it truly was the “rock star” like responses to his presence that dazzled her.  To a 16 or even 18 yo, McCain can come accross as a crotchety old man and Obama as the cool kid in school so it’s easy to see how the youth may flock to the latter. I found excerpts online from Obama’s books (The Audacity of Hope and one other I can’t remember) and we reviewed them together in a very casual way.  When we came away from the computer screen she had completely changed her mind about man she had at first found so compelling.  Good luck!

Beth Anne, have you read the book “The Explosive Child by Ross Greene?  I found it extremely helpful.  Caution: it does contain offensive language, in the examples of what a chld might say to his parents.  Overall, it is very well written.  I borrowed it from my local library.

I’m not trying to “throw the book” at anyone here, but regarding Sr. Judith’s question, the reason sex ed should not be taught in schools is that it is an offense against modesty as outlined in “The Truth and Meaning of Human Sexuality”, a document of the Church.  I’m not meaning to be dogmatic here, but this, um, truth, has played out just as described with my own children, as I have watched them grow.  Is it appropriate for schools to teach the “biology” of it all?  Yes, under certain circumstances.  But to teach philosophy, or “how to do it this way and that”?  No way.

regarding Sara Palin

Though I applaud Sara Palin and husband for not aborting her special needs son, I do not necessarily think that she would make a good VP,However will not go on and on ,on the politics end of things, because I have major problems with both Obama and McCain ( I really can’t vote for either and be OK with it ). I do find it puzzling,though how Catholic’s seem to be ok with premarital sex. Phrases like “ so she will get married as “ so and so “did and their marriage lasted “ just don’t set well with me. OK so a couple people who “ had to” get married made it work. How many didn’t. I have three children ages 12 to 18 and I impress “wait until your married” to all three, boys and girl alike. I know that things have changed, but I waited as many of my Catholic friends had relationship after relationship some used contraception, others didn’t. All faced repercussion after repercussion.One girl whom I graduated with but was never a close friend came back from college bragging about her encounters. I was floored at her cavalier attitude toward premarital sex. A few years later she regretted it all when a guy whom she wanted a marry dropped her when he found out her past. She did marry a few years later but ended up divorced because when the newness wore off she cheated in search of the thrill that she missed. She has since had a couple more marriages and divorces and we are not even forty yet. I believe that her cavalier attitude pushed her from partner to partner and then carried on into her marriages.If giving of ones self isn’t sacred anymore, what is ?My Dad used to say, don’t ever be intimate with someone that you don’t want to spend the rest of your life tied to and he had a point .I think society is to blame for rewarding young girls for having premarital sex and getting pregnant with perk after perk( welfair checks, housing, free college, etc ). Maybe we as a society should decide to put a stop to this instead of justifying it with “ so and so “ stories

Sister Judith Dever,

We need not oppose “sex education” and “abstinence”. True abstinence requires education. It is more than just saying “don’t do it”. Most parents are opposed to a combination of too much information too soon, and permission to be sexually active. Statistics show that “sex education” doesn’t work. And despite this particular example (the Palin family) abstinence does work. As for the Palin family...we all know that our kids have free will. Her daughter was engaged to a young man and made the mistake of starting married life too early...sounds like they are going to stand up to the consequences of their choice. We should pray for them, not criticize them.

quoting Planned Parenthood,
I can’t believe that you would quote Planned Parenthood’s statistics. Why is this Ok for Catholic’s to do but yet they boycott any organization that supports Planned parenthood ? Isn’t this wishy washy? You either respect and trust them as authority or not . Playing both sides really says something that i don’t think we want to say.

RG,
I agree ,but there are other major issues too. Like I want to be able to raise my children which requires my husband having a job. Someone who supports these “free” trade agreements and will let all of our jobs ship out to China or wherever, disqualifies them too. ( in my mind anyway )Also someone who wishes to keep the war going indefinitely is another disqualified to me as we have lost way too many lives here too. I am not knocking your beliefs and you are entitled to them but understand that there are many issues that can be disqualifies.

Beth Anne, we have found “Transforming the Difficult Child” by Howard Glasser (and other books, tapes, etc. by him) VERY helpful with our very bright and VERY intense 10-year-old son (your description sounds like home!) We are also blessed to have, in the next town over, a magnet school for kids with a variety of behavioral problems, some on meds and some not. It’s so good for him to be in an environment where they know how to teach him to behave acceptably without making him feel like some kind of pariah (the word “terrorism” was actually said by our local catholic school principal during one discussion; now THERE’s a Christian attitude for ya!). Glasser’s “nurtured heart” approach is kind of counterintuitive but it works for us to the extent that we’re able to stick to it, and you can use it with the other kids as well.  We’ll pray for you and your family and especially your intense guy.

I am no better than this girl.  You know how many times I have had to confess contraceptive behavior because 2+ weeks of abstinence was too difficult for me? 

I hate seeing Bristol be ostracized for lack of purity when zillions of others are guilty of the same or similar sins but don’t have to wear a scarlet letter in front of the world.

Beth Ann,
My prayers are with you. My oldest son was our “difficult” child. He started at about the age of 10.  It is stressful.  I can’t say anything, except, do what you think is best, what is in your heart.  Stand your ground and let God take care of the rest.

I understand the views held by some regarding Sarah Palin and her possible VP office while she is a mother. However, my vote will go to McCain/Palin because they do follow the pro-life teachings of the Church and they really are for the people of this country. I don’t want our nation to become a communist nation. Has anyone read in depth about Barack Obama’s views and past. He might not even be a natural born citizen of the U.S.
Btw, according to Fr. Frank Pavone, (pulling from a homily on EWTN) if one does not vote in an election, it is a sin. He said basically that if a person sits back and wishes things would change but does nothing about it, how is that person living out their Christian commitments. Did Jesus just sit back and hang with the sinners? No, he went out to transform them. He didn’t sit back and hope they would change. He taught them. I hope all Catholic’s vote this election because it is crucial for our Country and most importantly the Sanctity of Human Life. Yes, I agree that John McCain’s track record isn’t the best, however, he is 100 times better than Obama/Biden.

Diane --

Congratulations for your strength and ability to wait to have sex until marriage.

Now, I don’t believe anyone is saying or thinking that premarital sex is okay.  When you hear “so and so” stories of it working out in the end, it’s because people are showing how God brings good out of evil.

My husband (then fiance) and I struggled with premarital sex.  Looking back, I really wish our engagement had been shorter and am now a huge proponent of short engagements (given of course that the people involved are serious)!  Anyway, we were never proud of it.  Quite the opposite.  It was a serious struggle that filled us both with guilt and shame.  You have no idea how often we went to confession b/c of it.

I was 4 months pregnant when we got married.  Fortunately, I wasn’t showing yet, but I popped out shortly afterward.  Instead of condemning us and trying to make us feel worse than we were already making ourselves feel, our family and friends embraced our “good and exciting news!” And I am SO grateful for that.  We are human; we made, and continue to, make mistakes.  Who are we to judge others?  A new life is a blessing from God, no matter the circumstances. 

So, yes, teach your children abstinence until marriage.  That is what my husband and I were taught, and we will teach our children the same.  Premarital sex is not okay; it is a mortal sin.  But please don’t lok down on people who are or have struggled with this, as in any other affliction.

In regards to Sarah Palin’s daughter being pregnant in my mind it doesn’t have any bearing on the election. Kids have free will and they can use it and when they do they won’t always do what is right. We are human and make mistakes. Do I think pre-martial sex is alright. No...but do I think by acknowledging Bristol’s pregnancy I am condoning no. I think I am recognizing that she is human and therefore not prefect. I proud of the fact that she is choosing to keep her baby.

For me abortion is a huge voting issue and completely nullifies Obama as an option. However, I am also aware of his other ideas and wouldn’t vote for him even if abortion isn’t an issue. He flips flops every which way depending on what people want to hear. He believes those who cling to religion do so out of bitterness. I don’t cling to my religion because of bitternes, I do so because I believe in our Lord and he makes me a better person. Obama’s wife has stated that Obama will save our souls. I don’t need him to save my soul, that is the Lord’s department.

Also, the economy is a big issue in this election. Rightly so, but something I think many people fail to see is that energy ties directly into the economy. If our energy prices go done things will get easier because prices on everything else will go down because it won’t cost so much for transportation. I believe that we need to find renewable sources but I also recognize that it will take time to develop them and make them stable. In the mean time we need domestic sources which is something Sarah Palin is familiar with and something McCain advocates as well.

Dear Beth Anne,
I am sorry to hear about your struggles with your son.  I know the “battles” you can have are very tiring.  I’m glad to hear that you follow up with his psychiatrist.  Have you been able to find a psychologist who works with children as well?  He or she might really be able to help with the day to day struggles as well as the big picture.  That could help too with what do to about your daughter learning from example.  You are in my prayers.

Beth Anne, my prayers are with you.  Our now 8 year old acted like your 10 year from birth!  I also recommend “The Explosive Child” by Greene. It not only gives useful techniques and advice, but helps you understand how your son’s brain works.  We put our son on the Feingold Diet and discovered he had some sensitivity to foods and food dyes.  It was amazing the difference in his behavior when his diet was changed. He was also diagnosed with “sensory integration disorder” , and so we try to control his environment at home (i.e. not many pictures on the wall, not wearing perfume or spraying air freshners). He still has inflexible thinking, and will go into “vapor lock” every now and then, but we are able to see the warning signs now and can sometimes help him problem solve his way out of an explosion.  Remember you are not alone!  We pray lots of prayers to our son’s Guardian Angel- especially the RULE and GUIDE part .

Mother whose son will vote pro-choice:

Just pray.  Consciences develop over time.  I CAMPAIGNED, not just voted for the president who vetoed the first partial birth abortion ban.  When I saw how gung ho the party was for infanticide, I could not stomach it any longer.  I have not voted for a pro choice candidate since.

I was raised in public schools that taught us to be good citizens and not weigh abortion “disproportionately”.  I bought into it.  I also bought the “one party destroys our economy, the other saves it” bit.  Then I took college economics…

Economy is important.  A lot of women do have abortions because of financial reasons.  But the president has oh so little control over the economy.  Really.  I have read Obama’s entire plan on his web site and not one thing in there will fix our financial issues, other than regulating mortgages, which McCain has also promised to do.  Obama has promised to pass “first thing” a federal ban on states placing limits on abortions for any reason (such as parental notification).  He may talk economy, but only one thing really matters to his party.

To Diane:
Yes Diane I have heard of the disorder your friend speaks of and has. I had it myself. It is caused by Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  The body thinks there is an emergency when adrelaline appears, causing panic attacks.  What helped me was intense therapy with a good Catholic therapist who really knew a lot about the disorder .  It was difficult going through, but I am reaping the benefits now.  Emotionally, I am a whole new person.

On premarital sex ( comment #40)
I did not mean come off as condemning and I realize how tough resisting can be, After all I have been there too. However, I see many of my children’s friends who are not engaged and struggling but throwing around terms like “hooking up “( I am told it means to meet, have relations ,and leave. No commitment, many times not even knowing each other or even your partner’s last name or real name for that matter ) This is what I have a problem with. There was a news story a few months ago , I forget the specifics but it was about these twenty some girl friends in High school who had a pregnancy pact. Many of them had no steady boyfriend and some weren’t even sure of the father when they finally got pregnant.( at the time of the news story about half were pregnant ) I also accompanied my 18 Year old daughter to a financial aid workshop a few months back. She was told that since she had no children , was not pregnant, had never been arrested, and a few other undesirable things that she was not eligible. I just think that as a society we are too accepting of bad and ignore our good, whom we should reward. If it means having your own apartment, a check, your food paid for, and free college as well as you get to do something adult like and pleasurable, where is the deterrent if society is accepting and even rewards? In my family alone, out of 27 cousin’s thirteen have children born out of wedlock .Things are out of control one cousin has three children ( three fathers) We even have two unwed fathers.  Another family I know had three sons two are unwed with children. The children of the married son are ignored because they have a Mom and Dad who are married and don’t need Grandma and Grandpa like the others.Yes, it is good that they didn’t abort but gee wiz. I do try to help as many as possible at Christmas or when they need it but I just think that society has a real problem here.

Re: Sex ed

I think that what we need more then anything else is more teaching on how to avoid what has been traditionally called ‘near occasions of sin’.  While I haven’t done much study on the abstinence only programs, my impression is that they do a good job on giving the whys of waiting.

But if a program doesn’t do a good job of talking about the dangerous areas and times for chasity (and from personal experience engagement is a particularly difficult time to be chaste) and ways to avoid or deal with tempation then the program will not be very effective no matter how convincing it is in giving reasons to wait.

One of my grade nine teachers spent a couple of class periods discussing how to say no, what sort of situations to avoid, the facts of peer pressure etc.  That was probably the most useful material we were taught on the subject.

Re:premarital sex/pregnancy
No, we definitely shouldn’t be glorifying it but we also have to not vilify those who fail against temptation and bring a child into the mix.  FEar of rejection and scorn by family and others is often a driving force in a young lady’s resorting to abortion.  An honest discussion needs to be had in this country about the distorted view of sexuality that is saturating our media and education venues.  The denial or discounting of very real emotional and spiritual ramifications to early sexual activity serves no-one, except perhaps the mental health and STD services revenue flow.  Additionally, we need to shine a light on the real difficulties involved in early parenting or healing from an abortion.  Until we get real and restore sexuality to it’s rightful place as a very special and powerful gift from God, we won’t get far.

Does anyone have suggestions on resources for age appropiate ‘sex talks’.  I have a 10 yo boy and would like to know how much detail to give.

Anon ( comment 49)
My boys ( 12 & 15 )were both about ten when we started having informational talks. My husband and I didn’t read any books beforehand, so I can’t help there but we just went with the truth about things but kept it simple . We answered any questions honestly and truthfully. Though I was involved in the first couple of talks Dad has gotten most of the questions which he answers honestly. I know this sounds overly simple but it is what we did and so far so good.

PTSD ,
Thank you for sharing. Your putting a name to this allows me to do more research and possibly help my friend.

Prayers for a dear Priest

I would like to ask for many prayers for a dear friend of ours, Msgr. Marc Trudeau.  I grew up with him andhe was in all of our family weddings, etc.  He was ordained a priest back in 1990 (right after finishing dental school at USC...God must have had other plans for him).  He is a wonderful, kind and caring priest.  About 4 years ago he was taken from his position as pastor and asked to be the Secretary to Cardinal Mahoney (LA Archdiocese).  He missed his parish, but he obediently and lovingly carried out his role.
Earlier this summer, he went to the doctor with back pain and was diagnosed with Lymphoma.  He is not doing very well.  He was always thin and has now lost 40 more pounds.  He is hospitalized with low white counts and can now only have immediate family as visitors (wearing masks and scrubbing to enter his room).
Won’t you please join in prayers across the country for him?  He is young...51 years old...and is just everyhting you would ever want in a priest.  Please pray for his health, his courage, and his spirits.

As a side note, last May he attended a pilgrimage to Lourdes that I was to have gone on.  I ended up in surgery (a cancer complication) and could not go.  Fr. Marc offered his Masses there for me...only to be diagnosed weeks later. Please pray for this wonderful man...thank you!!!

Please pray for Fr. Joseph Peek, a wonderful, orthodox priest in the Archdiocese of Atlanta.  He has been battli