Oh what a joy and a relief it is to read this article!  At the same time I am excited to take on the challenge of stopping and looking my children in the eye when they ask questions.  Thank you Danielle!

Thank you Danielle for helping take away some of the “Mommy Guilt” we put on ourselves.  I agree that reading and praying with our children is more important than being a constant playmate.

I was never one to “play” with my kids when they were younger.  I did read to them, take them on walks and to the park & library.  I remember thinking that I should be “doing more” and I asked my mom (who raised 8 children) about it.  She stated, quite matter of factly, that it’s fathers who should play with their children.  Of course, my husband loved rolling around on the floor with our kids and they were so happy to play with him.  I realized that I was off the hook.  Mothers and fathers play different roles in a child’s life and I’m ok with that.

This is an awesome article.  Thank you very much.

Amen!!

THANK YOU!  Yes, I play games with my kids.....BUT it is after our duties are done.  Frankly, we make many of our “chores” into games--as you do.  Saturday evenings, Sundays--these are the best game-playing times at our house.  Since we don’t watch tv, we have more time to spend with the family playing games.  But, we play games that we all can find some enjoyment in.

We teach them early to play card games--our third grader will learn euchre and pinochle soon.  Our older kids all know how to play these card games and guess what--not only do my husband and I ENJOY playing cards, my parents LOVE to play these card games!  It’s like a ‘rite of passage’ for our kids to become “bigs” to get to stay up late Saturday night to play cards with mom and dad and the other “bigs”.

With the “littles”, we play other card games (Phase 10, 3 to the King) and teach them early games at a bit higher interest/skill level so the bigs and my husband and I are more willing to spend time playing a game with the littles (Mancala, Gobblet, Sequence).  With the really young ones, we stick with mostly Hi-Ho Cheerio and puzzles.

Yes.  In our house, there is an even division of “big kids” and “little kids”.  Any games I play are usually limited to big-people games with a lot of little pieces once the little kids are in bed.  The little kids get toy-stacking and book-reading type play with me.  But not everyday for any of this.  And my husband IS the one that “plays” the most with all of them.  And it’s usually quite physical, which is again appropriate. 

And we’re ok with all of it. 

What if you don’t have a big family? And what if you don’t live in a neighborhood with children and playmates?

We struggle with this and try to get our 5-year old to play alone. His sister is a baby and they can’t really play.

In the end, this is why he’s in a parochial school and not being homeschooled - at least for the time being.

I LOVE board games though, so playing those is never really a chore!

I am a stay at home mom with only one child: my one year old boy.  His dad is at work most of the day and I do find I myself have to be my child’s playmate most of the time.  He can obviously play by himself too but I make sure to take some time out to play with him since when his dad gets home, its dinner, walks/reading and then usually an early bed time.  Dad play time is more on the weekends.  Although I definitely don’t have the house workload that larger families may have, I do find if I get behind on laundry or if dinner is later than usual, I don’t really mind as I think it more important to be with my son.  Not as his peer or ‘friend’ but as his mother.  I know soon enough he’ll be with his friends (or hopefully, someday, siblings), classmates, etc. with little to no time for good old Mom so I appreciate this while I can!

I am happy to read to them, play games with them, do puzzles with them, even play Candy Land with them(as long as we follow the rule that you NEVER go backwards!), but please don’t ask me to play Barbies!  Of course this isn’t every moment of every day.  It is a once in a while activity.

Right now, I just have my youngest one home during the day, so there are no brothers and sisters to play with her.  She asks me A LOT to play with her.  I try to sit for a moment and get her started on something close to me. 

I totally agree, playing on the floor is not our main responsibility, but I still feel badly when she says,"Mama, can you ‘clay’ wif me?”

What a refreshing way to look at it!!!  The new social “norm” of 2 kids and DONE is ruining womens’ ability to parent without guilt.  I just gave birth to our first child and so many people give me flack for wanting a large family.  “How will you ever be able to split your time between them!” I already feel guilty for the times in the future I won’t be able to play with my child!  But, I WILL see them in Heaven

I’m not sure I agree.  To be honest, I prefer doing laundry and making supper to playing games with my son, and sometimes it’s too easy to justify not playing with him.  But when I do play with him, I often feel that this “getting down on my knees” has in fact pleased the Lord.  This says to my son: I will be little with you for a little while; I will do my best to be present to something that really matters to you.  And when I do so, I connect with him in a different way.  My son really appreciates it. He wants his Mama to share in what *he* loves.  Of course we need time to do laundry, cook, discipline, nurture and lead, but I believe that while play may sometimes seem a tedious waste of valuable time, it can often be a worthwhile and even holy thing to do.

Right on, Beth.  Work, and then play is the reward.  I loved games, so it wasn’t a chore when the work was caught up.  Now when the grandchildren are here, it is always time for games!!!

Playful Parenting is a book about “ joining children in their world of play, focusing on connection and confidence, giggling and roughhousing, and following your child’s lead “ written by Lawrence Cohen, PhD.  It has been highly recommended by a couple of my friends.  Frankly, I am right with Danielle on the painful pace of board games with pre-schoolers (and up to about third grade!).  I have felt terribly guilty about this in the past and especially after reading this book!  Thanks for reminding me of all the OTHER ways we spend quality time with our kids.  I just need to make time for that eye contact, pause-and -answer thing!

In my relationship the Dad does all the playing.

I consider “Candy Land” to be Purgatory on Earth.  My husband has resorted to stacking the deck when the kids aren’t looking, to end the game faster (in the kids’ favor!) If I need to spend some time with the kids, I’d much prefer watching a Notre Dame football game, making cookies, or reading together.

I think if you enjoy playing board games or cards, by all means, introduce your child to your interests.  I’d rather by outside hitting golf balls with my kids.  But that’s me.  Since when do all moms have to do the same thing with their kids?

How to speed up Candyland

1) After a candy card has been played, it remains with the person who chose it until the end of the game. This limits the going backwards

2) stack the discard pile. All doubles go at the top, some singles too so it isn’t too obvious

Any suggestions for chutes and ladders? My oldest used to cheat so he could go down slides. Luckily he was happy to play against himself.

Marie,
Chutes and Ladders is the worst!  I remember loving it as a kid, but I NEVER suggest that game and if the kids do, I REALLY try to lay out the merits of High Ho Cheerio, or Hullablaloo!

So so so glad to hear that I am not the only one who rigs the Candy Land game!  I can’t figure out how to shorten Chutes and Ladders, though - I have tried to hide the game in hopes of a round of hte Memory Game which I can actually tolerate (as long as I am winning).  What a relief to know that being a good Mom doesn’t mean having to LOVE playing pre-school board games - whew!

For preschool children play is their work..It is how they learn. We play some and as my 15 month old gets older she will have to help with housework.  I turn chores into teaching opportunities.