St. Thomas Aquinas’ Chill-Out and Cheer-Up

May/June 2008 Issue | Posted by Daria Sockey in Features

Stress. It’s that mix of anxiety, worry, and frustration, with perhaps a small helping of depression thrown in — and it has been around since the Fall of man.

St. Thomas Aquinas, a Doctor of the Church and perhaps the greatest thinker the world has ever known, had something to say on just about every topic that might help us better understand both God and ourselves. In Part II of his masterwork, the Summa Theologiae, he devotes some space to the question “of the remedies for sorrow or pain.” Not only do his suggestions gel nicely with popular advice for stress relief, but he explains quite logically why they work, and also gives us a spiritual outlook that modern-day advice so often lacks.

­ ­ ­ So here, with a little modern application, is a St. Thomas guide to lifting up your heart.

1. Vent ... properly.

Plans for dinner with your husband at that fancy new restaurant you’ve been longing for all this month are smashed when the sitter bows out. The credit card bill is impossible to pay in full this month. Your runaway dog is at the shelter, and you must pay a hefty charge because you forgot to renew his license. Go ahead. Have a good cry. Or maybe pound the sofa cushions and scream.

St. Thomas says that “Tears and groans assuage sorrow, and this for two reasons. First, because a hurtful thing hurts yet more if we keep it shut up,” and second, “because an action that befits a man according to his actual disposition is always pleasant to him.”

In other words, it feels good to cry, wail, or make the noise that is appropriate to your feelings. The best person to vent to is God: 1) because he cares more than anyone else, and 2) because he’s in a better position to help. Honest prayer is the best prayer — and that includes venting. Obviously, we should limit our outbursts and pull ourselves together afterwards. Prolonged complaining brings a spirit down. But that initial venting can be downright therapeutic.

2. Seek wholesome pleasures.

Grab that chocolate.Pop your favorite romantic comedy into the DVD player. Play that Clay Aiken CD even if it makes your husband ill (well, use headphones). St. Thomas quotes a more ancient philosopher, Aristotle, who says, “Sorrow is driven out by pleasure, both by a contrary pleasure and by any other, provided that it is intense.”

Granted, some days it seems nothing short of abandoning the family and hopping on a plane for a Caribbean island would provide an antidote of sufficient intensity. But banish the thought of either sinful or unrealistic pleasures, and find something that is wholesome and right at hand.

Aside from that proviso, though, choose whatever makes you smile. Whatever frosts your cake. Whatever raises your soufflé. Whatever flips your pancakes. (Can you tell that mine is food?)

You may even find that giving pleasure to others is the best stress releaser. Try these ...

Sounds

Music was mentioned above, but keep in mind what St. Thomas meant by “contrary pleasure.” If your mood is tending to depression, play something lively and upbeat that your family loves. Lift your moods together.

Sights

Gaze at your favorite view out of a window, or if you don’t have one, flip through your most exquisite coffee table book, or grab a photo album and look at your kids’ baby pictures.

Sometimes color has an immediate positive effect on mood, so stare at something red if you need to get energized, blue or green if you need to calm down. The sight of pink has been shown in studies to make women feel cheery. (Not men: They imagine a decline in vigor when pink is presented.)

Smells

Light your favorite scented candle or potpourri. Splash on a scent your husband really likes. Bake some homemade bread or a batch of brownies for the family and savor the aroma.

Tastes

See chocolate, above. If you think it’s just psychological, put “chocolate” and “endorphins” in a search engine and get affirmed in your cravings! Just make sure it’s dark or imported chocolate for the higher cacao content.

Something New

Most people don’t have the time and money to shop — and shopping might just delay an even greater depression for when the credit card bill comes. But often the pleasure of shopping is not so much that of acquiring new possessions as a need to see a change of some sort. Rearrange some furniture. Put different photos in a framed display. Reach to the back of the closet, put a new outfit together from what you already own, and put it on now. Put on the jewelry you never think to wear.

Better — why not experience the joy of giving gifts? Shop for someone who’s in a tough spot — or even for giveaways to the poor.

3. Take care of your body.

At first glance, these may be grouped with pleasures. But St. Thomas devoted a separate section to the beneficial effects of “sleep and baths” when we are unhappy. It makes sense, doesn’t it? How often do our defenses against stress come crashing down because we haven’t had enough rest? A colicky infant, a job that requires lots of take-home work and midnight oil-burning, or our own procrastination at bedtime can wreak havoc with our mental well-being.

As to a good hot bath — probably every woman knows what a tension-tamer that can be. Hot water relaxes tight muscles and widens blood vessels, increasing oxygen to our brains — a sure-fire mood booster. St. Thomas lived in the Middle Ages, when opportunities to bathe were more limited than today. Perhaps that made him more keenly aware of the benefit.

To St. Thomas’ two recommendations in this category, I’ll add a third: a brisk walk outdoors. The benefits of exercise on mood and health are so well-documented that there is no need to re-hash them here.

4. Call a friend.

Maybe you don’t need to cry or scream (see No. 1 above), but you do have a need to talk out your troubles with someone who cares. St. Thomas notes that just the act of sharing our burdens with others will seem to lighten them, and that furthermore, “When a man’s friends condole with him, he sees that he is loved by them, and this affords him pleasure.” And pleasure, as the good saint already told us, is a prime antidote for stress.

Your husband might be a great friend to talk to, except that 1) You don’t want to overwhelm the poor man with your troubles the moment he walks through the door, and 2) some things only another woman can fully appreciate.

So get on the phone with a girlfriend and tell her what a stupid day you’ve had. Tell her about the new idiotic thing your teen has done, or the stylist that must have been on drugs when she cut your hair this morning. In no time at all, she may have you laughing at your troubles.

Need a stronger dose of friend-therapy? Why not find a friend who needs a pick-me-up nearly as much, or more, than you do? Make a date to get together, maybe meeting at church for a quick Rosary, and from there to your favorite coffee and dessert bar (an added pleasure to drown your sorrows).

No friend available? That brings us to St. Thomas’ last cure for the blues or the crazies.

5. Contemplate the truth.

St. Thomas thought that contemplation of the truth brought the greatest earthly happiness. That might sound a little too ivory-tower intellectual for the rest of us, but then the angelic doctor reminds us of the greatest truths of all, the truths that are available for us to contemplate without any advanced degrees in philosophy: “And therefore, in the midst of tribulations men rejoiced in the contemplation of divine things and of future happiness.”

In other words, make contact with your greatest friend (God) and lift up your heart to thoughts of the greatest pleasure (heaven).

Christians should have an edge on others in achieving serenity. We know God is always with us, has a plan for our lives, and will work all things together for the good of those who love him. Whatever our worries, fears, sorrows, or frustrations, we can always tell him about them.

Typical articles on stress recommend deep breathing and repeating a positive “mantra,” or visualizing yourself overcoming your difficulties. Keep the deep breathing if you find it calming, but ditch the mantra in favor of a short prayer, a Scripture verse or simply the Holy Names of Jesus and Mary. If you are the visualization type, then picture yourself resting in God’s embrace, or sitting in Mary’s kitchen in Nazareth, telling her your problems and receiving her reassurance.

Life can get crazy. Life can get us down. But by taking the advice of St. Thomas Aquinas, serenity can be restored and our energy renewed.

Daria Sockey writes from Venus, Pennsylvania

Saints of Stress

Prayer of St. Ignatius for times of anxiety

O Christ Jesus,
when all is darkness
and we feel our weakness and

helplessness,
give us the sense of your presence,
your love, and your strength.
Help us to have perfect trust
in your protecting love
and strengthening power,
so that nothing may frighten or

worry us,
for, living close to you,
we shall see your hand,
your purpose, your will through all

things.

Prayer of St. Teresa of Avila

Let nothing worry you,
Nothing frighten you.
Everything passes away,
God doesn’t change.
Patience gets everything.
Whoever has God
Is missing nothing.
God alone is enough.

Prayer of St. Augustine

Everlasting God, in whom we live and move and have our being: You have made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless until they rest in you.

Comments (0) | Filed under depression, saints, stress
 Print Article   Email a Friend   

Post a Comment

By submitting this form, you give Faith And Family Magazine permission to publish this comment. Comments will be published at our discretion, and may be edited for clarity and length. For best formatting, please limit your response to one paragraph and don't hit "enter" to force line breaks.